Wondering this morning why God thought it was a good idea to code such potent, powerful things as sex and sexual drive into our human experience. We’re watching a TV show at the moment that includes (surprise) a couple romantic storylines. It crossed my mind this morning how rare, appealing, and unlikely it seems that […]
Continue readingAuthor: LSchwaar
Wrestling with God (Musing)
Jacob Wrestles With God 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that […]
Continue readingWinter 2024: New Stages
I write from a friend’s sitting room where JT and I are dog-sitting. It’s comfortably strewn with Christmas decorations and toddler toys, and currently missing the massive pup who is romping around in the yard. JT and I got married eleven days ago. We were blessed by incredible love and care from family and friends […]
Continue readingFall 2024: A Full Season
(Written October 1st) I write from an airplane carrying me from LAX (Los Angeles) to ORD (Chicago). I’ll soon join my Midwest-based family for a whirlwind three days, a trip within a trip, before flying back to California to re-join my brother and then my fiancée for the second of two West Coast weddings, the […]
Continue readingBroken Models (Musing)
A couple weeks ago, my model broke. I had been duct-taping said model together for a long while. That proved ultimately to be a futile effort. In the midst of my life feeling a little hair-brained and too full for its britches anyway, the fundamental understanding I had been holding in my hands that tried […]
Continue readingSummer 2024: It’s Official
I write from a dog-sitting job for a friend here in Denver, enjoying a covered porch and a pleasantly cool day and the sound of birds discussing something arbitrary in the neighbor’s trees a distance away. Life marches on at an almost frantic pace sometimes and I’m finding it more and more difficult to keep […]
Continue readingThe Stories We Tell (Musing)
It’s striking me as interesting today that the stories we herald and treasure — the epics, the required readings, the stories we pass down and that have stood the test of time — almost always include a dramatic arc through conflict and resolution. Why do we love the Lord of the Rings quests so much? […]
Continue readingHealthy Hope (Musing)
My relationship with God has been… strained over the last few months. My hope and expectation reached a breaking point, and most of what I feel now towards Him is deep disappointment, mistrust, and hurt. This is not the first time I’ve bumped up against feelings of frustration and (what I feel is a reasonable […]
Continue readingWinter 2023: Looking Back and Looking Ahead
(Written December 28th, 2023) I write from the back of a packed Frontier flight carrying me from Midway Airport (Chicago) to Denver International. It’s early morning and I have a full Denver day ahead of me. I’ll see JT tonight and in two days will fly to Seattle to spend New Year’s with her sister […]
Continue readingA Memo On My Last Three Years
The last three years of my life have included a facet I never expected (or wanted, if God had felt like asking). It was terrifying then excruciating, daunting, mystifying, galvanizing, still terrifying, and has slowly and subtly given way to becoming one of the most significant parts of my life. I don’t anticipate that changing. […]
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